I was never good at anything

I never really excelled at anything. I never got any awards from being at the top. I was okay. I was above average most of the time.

I know I shouldn't settle for anything less. I should strive to be on top. Maybe I can but I struggled because of my stubborn attitude at some points.

Sometimes I get insecure of my abilities when I see some people who received honors on their graduation. I think of the parents of those "laudes" and how proud they are to their sons/daughters for bringing honor to their family.

I'm a transfer student so I could shut that horse to the face...

...but i still could have Leadership Award or Academic Distinction.

Oh Lord please help me.

Reflections this holy week

this is what my heart sings out

at the present.

I'm not that religious and as stubborn as I can be, I didn't do any religious traditions. I broke almost everything in it. I jacked off, I ate meat and I didn't go to church.

I know God may be pissed on what I have done. I never did anything for anyone. I'm a selfish bastard. I'm so sorry Lord.

I had it rough last semester. So I became bitter but it's not an excuse I know. I'll try to be more nicer and welcoming to everyone. If this is my punishment Lord, I fully accept it with all my heart.

I just thought that the Lord hears all my pain among everyone else. So it's good to know that I am not alone. He hears all my pain and I know that He is telling me that all will be okay. I'm great! I'm awesome. Because the Lord is with me. :)))

To those who feels the same way, just think the same way as I do. God is there for you. It's great to know that there is someone with you. All people around you may forsake you but not God.